Transference isn't guaranteed.

Transference isn't guaranteed.
I do hard things (or so I tell myself), but surviving a 100 mile endurance race doesn't automatically translate to having a tough conversation with my wife.

The lessons can transfer, but there is no guarantee they will.

I first learned the word transference in college, from Shane Sullards. We were leading corporate team building exercises, hoping participants could bring some insight back into their workplace.

Shane always said, "it's the most important part."

He was right.

Transference is a skill.

Without it, we accumulate experiences without becoming different people. We collect memories, achievements, and stories, but they stay trapped in the environments where they happened.

Growth isn't merely having an experience. It requires carrying the lessons into the next one.

If we are open to change, we can learn to take lessons with us.
If we're not, we make the easiest mistake of all:
thinking we changed while our actions remain the same.