One of the unsung wins of parenting: noticing your traits appear within your kids, and…

One of the unsung wins of parenting: noticing your traits appear within your kids, and watching them remix it into something better.

For example, I've always been curious.

As a kid, I never felt like I had access to adults who would just shoot me straight. There was an invisible fourth wall that most adults never let me cross.

I was the kid.
They were the adult.
So phrases like, "You wouldn't understand," or, "That's just the way it is," ended too many conversations.

HOT TAKE: those responses are usually adult-tools to hide ignorance more than protect children (warning: adults don't like hearing that).

My daughters are growing up with a different kind of adult... me.

We made a spoken arrangement: if you ask, I'll answer. No topic is off limits. No question is too small. No curiosity is inconvenient.

My oldest takes that permission to untold levels.
She wants to know how everything works.

One question becomes three. Three become ten. Every answer seems to unlock another layer. Usually to the dismay of others in the car, but she's the kind of student every teacher hopes for.

I love it.

Sometimes I catch myself explaining something in way more detail than any child should reasonably care about. I'll stop and ask, "Do you want me to keep going?"

Without hesitation, she replies, "Keep going."
Every time.

These are among my favorite moments.

It's fun. It's inspiring. And, in a strange way, it's healing.

Parts of childhood never quite fit me. I remember wanting to be an adult long before I actually was. Not because adults had all the answers, but because they seemed to have fewer barriers between themselves and the questions they wanted to ask.

Now I get to be the adult I was looking for. Maybe that's one of the greatest gifts of parenting...

We don't just raise our kids.
They help us finish raising ourselves.